babak belur kurang tidur

Yang namanya orang tua balita, pasti sudah biasa dengan istilah "kurang tidur"... Kalo ngomong soal "kurang tidur" dengan org single, palingan org tsb cm bisa relate saat dia hangout sama temen2nya n pulang malem, ato kebanyakan nonton film seri dan ga bisa berenti, akhirnya tdr kemaleman, ato klo lagi dikejar deadline dan lain sebagainya...

Bukannya sok melebih2kan... Tapi memang, sejak jadi orangtua, kayaknya yg namanya tidur nyenyak tanpa gangguan itu adalah sebuah luxury, alias suatu kemewahan...

Kalo anda tau yg namanya capek sebagai orang single, dan setelah anda bekerja keras, anda merasa anda berhak memperlakukan diri anda dg baik, dg membawa diri ke spa, ke tmp pijat, ke salon, dll... Percaya deh, setelah pny anak, anda akan tau yang namanya THE NEXT LEVEL of capek... Seriusan... Capek lo saat single itu, masi blm ada apa2nya...

Coba anda bayangkan, saat anda harus kurang tidur ngejar deadline semalam atau 2 malam, kalikan itu dengan 1000x... Kurang tidurnya mirip, begadangnya mirip, tapi ga abis2.. kira2 selama 5tahun... :D

SERIUS!! Saya bukannya lebayyy... Tapi emang beneran kayak gitu...

Trus, itu kalo anak cuma 1...

Wkt anak cuma 1, sy dan suami kirain kita udah capek dan kurang tidur... Ternyata, setelah pny 2 anak... (Jadi skrg kami pny 1 anak 5th, dan 1 anak 1.5th... ) barulah kami tau, ternyata capek itu bisa lebih capek lagi!!! Kurang tidur juga bisa lebih lagi... Ga ada mentoknya...

Jadi, one thing yg sy belajar skrg...

1. Jadi ortu, jangan selalu mendahulukan anak... Kebutuhan anak ga akan ada abisnya... So, we need to meet our own need dulu as parents, dg begitu kita akan mampu memberikan yg terbaik utk anak2 kita...

Hence, skrg gw lagi tiduran sambil ngetik cerita ini... Sambil nemenin anak gw yg batita tdr.. sedangkan anak gw yg 5th gw minta jgn ganggu selama 2jam, krn gw butuh istirahat n alone time...

(Oh, mgkn lo wonder, emangnya what happen, knp gw capek bgt?? Well, when u become parents, somehow sleepless nights makes ur brain functions 1/2 of ur brain capacity previously... Kmrn tuh gw keluar rmh, tp lupa bawa kunci, suami gw jg ga bw kunci, jadilah kami tidak bs masuk ke dlm rumah sendiri, itu udah jam 5PM... Anak2 blm makan, jd lah bungkus makanan dl... Trus bersyukur bonyok gw pegang kunci, tp mereka tinggal 1 jam dr rmh gw, jd gw masi hrs melakukan perjalan selama 1 jam utk memperoleh kunci rmh tsb... Tidak berhenti di situ, akhirnya kita sampe rmh, bisa buka pintu, bisa masuk rumah, bisa istirahat dan bisa mandi... Ehhh anak yg kecil muntah.. jadilah harus mandiin yg kecil dan untungnya suami mau bersiin kasur, ganti sprei dan keringin kasur... Udah mo tdr nih, tinggal doa malam aja, ehhh muntah lagi si anak no.2!! Omg!! Jd bersiin kasur lg, mandiin lg, ganti baju lg... Sambil si no.2 nangis2.. sambil gw nahan ngantuk jg... Sambil sakit pinggang juga... Yep! Thats part of life... Kira2 itulah penjelasannya kenapa skrg gw capek bgt dan butuh rebahan...)

2. Kerja sama dan hubungan baik dg pasangan itu penting bgt

Ga kebayang gw klo ada single mom yg hrs mengalami anak muntah, dy hrs mandiin anak yg kecil, ngeladenin anak yg gede, trus ganti sprei dan bersiin muntahan (guys, muntahan itu baunya ga wangi dan penampakannya ga cantik ya fyi)

3. Pny view yg jauh ke depan...

Jgn lihat kerepotan skrg aja... Disini gw ga being fair, krn gw cm ceritain susah2nya derita2nya jd ortu... Tp sbnrnya bnykan sukacitanya wkt dgr anak2 ketawa.. wkt denger mereka bisa saling sayang... Wkt mereka bisa mengerti sesuatu yg baru...

Gw hrs pny pandangan apa yg ga tabur n tanam skrg ga akan keliatan hasilnya sampe 10-20-30 tahun ke depan...

Mgkn skrg keliatannya sia2... Tp gw percaya, smuanya ga akan jd sia2... Pada saatnya kami sbg ortu, akan menuai hasil yg kami tabur... Asal kami tetep setia dan taat aja...

Mungkin sekarang terasa babak belur, tapi nanti ada masanya semoga kami akan merasa sebaliknya (apa ya kebalikannya babak belur? Hahaha)...

-the end-

Day 5 without insta n FB

So, this is day 5 without insta n FB..

Basically, i have more space...
I get to read the bible instead of looking at other ppl's life..

Btw the bible reminds me to:
- draw near to God, and God will draw near to me
- give values and i will receive the values that i give
- be thankful in all circumstances

Not connected to sosmed doesnt necessarily makes me a happier person.. but i can feel less burden as i am not connected to everybody all the time..

I got more things done in a day..
And so far i get to make sure the dishes are washed and put away..
Its an accomplishment isnt it?? :p

My emotion is still not so steady...
Esp when im tired and not feeling so well... I think im having a flu.. :(
I need to practice more patience towards the kids...
Being angry and irritated doesnt help anyone..

So yeah, this is the review of leaving the sosmed for 5 days...

Hopefully i wont do more online shopping :s

SimplyMe Journey

Happy new year!!!
Yay its another new year, another new day...
And i really want to start 2019 with a new ME!

Me, who can really live MORE by having LESS...

In 2018, i have realized that i am growing to be an unhappy person... With a very packed timetable... Having almost no margin in life... And i dont wanna go back to that kind of life.. its no way to live..

So, this year, im embracing minimalism... not sure i wanna be a minimalist.. but i sure am need to declutter my life, my possessions, and my mind...

Its my plan for 2019..
So help me God..

Proverbs 16:9
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."

Kesellllll!!

Duhhh ga tau napa hari ini bawaannya kesellll bgt...

Ceritanya mo ke kantor imigrasi mo perpanjang paspor n bikin paspor kya...
Smua org tau klo mo bikin paspor hrs dtg pagi2 jam 7 nongkrong di kantornya dr kantornya blm buka...

Ehhh ga tau kena angin apa, laki gw yakin bgt kucuk2 dtg jam 9 bakalan masi bs dpt quota... Tadi malahan udah mo jam 10 sampe sana, dy masi pede aja dpt... Gw mah udah pasrah aja n berkali2 tempted utk bilang ga bakalan dpt.. bener aja, sampe sana, udah abis lah quotanya... Disuruh balik lg besok jam 7 pagi.. ternyata quota prioritas hny utk 20 org.. thats what wise ppl called the early bird gets the freshest bread... (Something like that?!)

Alhasil gw jd bete berat..
Sebelomnya lg yg bikin tambah telat itu adl kita ke kantor dl utk fotocopy docs krn printer di rmh rusak...
En tiap gw blg mo benerin printer, eh laki gw malah suruh ganti printer (which keluar lbh bnyk duit lg)... -_-"
Suruh ganti jg ga dibeliin... Cm ngomong aja tp ga ada aksinya..

Trus dr kantor taro kya di car seat.. ehhh tuh anak pake gumoh/muntah mayan bnyk.. ngotorin bajunya sendiri dan car seat bnyk bgt.. haizz.. lengkap lah sudah keriwehan gw pagi2...

Makanya sampe sana dah ga bs masuk.. gw pikir oh well... Sudah kuduga...
Ehhh mo kontek suami di mbl, lupa bawa turun hp.. duhh dodol bgt lah gw..

Yg bikin kesel mgkn krn gw bodoh mau dgrin org yg jelas2 no planning...
It never works...
Mgkn instead of kesel sama suami... Gw lbh kesel sama diri sendiri dan keadaan gw yg kyknya ga bs ngapa2in klo ga ada org lain.. krn gw diribetin dg 2 anak kecil...

Mungkin begitu...

So, instead of dealing with kekesalan gw.. what shud i do??

Terima keadaan? Emang skrg gw di season yg "ribet n riweh" ini... Dienjoy ajaaa.. nanti ga lama jg lewat dan berganti..

Be thankful for what i have...
Loving husband, happy n healthy children..

So yeah.. this morning i have failed..
But i will continue to fight utk bisa terima keadaan en be thankful for where i am right now... Pls help me God..

Slow Down!!

This week, this month actually, God teaches me to slow down...

Im exhausted.. feeling too many things to do, yet so little time.. get me frustrated and easily annoyed at the littlest thing that my kids or my husband did..

So, this week, my eldest son is still coughing, means no school and sk for a week.. i only focus in taking care of him n the baby.. somehow i find joy to stay at home with him and be able to see his growth.. his ability to help me taking care of his baby sister... At his silliness.. at his creative lego building.. at every single milestones in his life for a week.. and i am so thankful..

Finally, i can have a little peace in my chaotic world n house.. becoz true peace comes from the heart... I feel grateful..

Thank u God for teaching me to slow down and smell the roses, or in my case, to enjoy my time with the kids n my hubby.. n to connect with u too! :)

God's ministry

Last nite i woken up around 3am to nurse Kya, then i couldnt fall asleep till 5:30am..

Been thinking really hard about many things and browsing the instagram in hoping to shift my brain to Lala Land.. :p but it didnt really work..

Been thinking about parenting.. about the company God has trusted us and that we cannot really handle it right yet :(
About our family.. the kids.. about finances.. about what my parents think of me... but mostly bout the ministry..

Been thinking so hard about why is this not the season.. why cant we handle everything? Didnt we try hard enuf? Is it really not the season or is it just that we r lazy? Been thinking who will be able to replace us?? How shud we start the "advising" if no body wants to receive advise from someone like us.. who r not committed enuf.. :(

And all those negative thoughts that making dirt in my head... And makes my teeth clenched so hard for the past weeks..

Until the Voice spoke to me...
Hey my daughter.. i trusted u the ministry for u to do... But it is not yours!! They are all mine.. the TY are mine.. i love them more than u can ever love them.. i think more about them than u think about them..

Dont worry.. i will prepare the people for u to handle.. u just need to obey my command... Follow where i go...

Dont try to steal it from Me..
Coz however hard u tried.. u wont be able to do things without Me..

And after that Voice said all that need to be said...
I know i was sooooo arrogant.. i ask for God's forgiveness, coz im making everything is about ME... While its supposed to be all about HIM!

After that...
I feel all the burden has been lifted up.. i know im safe in His hand.. i can trust Him.. and He will take care of things and prepare everything according to His time..

My part is just to obey and continuously listen to His guidance..

And i fell asleep... :)

Mommyhood

This picture is just as real as it can get...

While my 4yo is sleeping next to me, my newborn is sleeping on top of me.. Its the calmest time of my day.. I wouldnt trade this moment for anything else!

I am extremely tired.. That is why i have just got up from my nap.. Haha
I always fall asleep together with them, or even before my 4yo is sleeping.. But i will not exchange my position right now for anything else..

My brain is cluttered with things to do.. I am smelly from the baby's vomit and havent even got the chance to shower.. Anyone who sees me at this state will not want to be like me.. I am just not a pleasant sight to see... But, i will not replace my mommyhood with anything else in the world!

It is such a privilege... And it is my calling to be the best mum that i can be for my children.. I know i will not regret my decision ever..

-mom-