God's ministry

Last nite i woken up around 3am to nurse Kya, then i couldnt fall asleep till 5:30am..

Been thinking really hard about many things and browsing the instagram in hoping to shift my brain to Lala Land.. :p but it didnt really work..

Been thinking about parenting.. about the company God has trusted us and that we cannot really handle it right yet :(
About our family.. the kids.. about finances.. about what my parents think of me... but mostly bout the ministry..

Been thinking so hard about why is this not the season.. why cant we handle everything? Didnt we try hard enuf? Is it really not the season or is it just that we r lazy? Been thinking who will be able to replace us?? How shud we start the "advising" if no body wants to receive advise from someone like us.. who r not committed enuf.. :(

And all those negative thoughts that making dirt in my head... And makes my teeth clenched so hard for the past weeks..

Until the Voice spoke to me...
Hey my daughter.. i trusted u the ministry for u to do... But it is not yours!! They are all mine.. the TY are mine.. i love them more than u can ever love them.. i think more about them than u think about them..

Dont worry.. i will prepare the people for u to handle.. u just need to obey my command... Follow where i go...

Dont try to steal it from Me..
Coz however hard u tried.. u wont be able to do things without Me..

And after that Voice said all that need to be said...
I know i was sooooo arrogant.. i ask for God's forgiveness, coz im making everything is about ME... While its supposed to be all about HIM!

After that...
I feel all the burden has been lifted up.. i know im safe in His hand.. i can trust Him.. and He will take care of things and prepare everything according to His time..

My part is just to obey and continuously listen to His guidance..

And i fell asleep... :)